I hate being a parent, but…

Yes, being a parent is almost no fun. When you think about the fact that you're not gonna be getting much sleep for two years straight (or more, depending on how many kids you have), and every moment of your time and mental space is

going to be dedicated to another person, And the fact that you really don't have the time to take care of yourself adequately for an extended period of time, and then pile on the fact that your kids don't really understand all the work that you're doing for them (and probably won't remember) and the fact that you're likely giving up career prospects, further education or dreams… It's no wonder that it's pretty common to hate being a parent.

All that being said, I had to wait a very long time And I don't regret having my kids. And that's a very big deal. I know a lot of people do regret having kids because they don't know what it's like to be an adult, approaching middle age, and not having any kids. All of those things that you think you're giving up and you might mourn or long for (like further education and career, travel, etc. etc.), it becomes apparent how meaningless those things are if you don't have kids. I don't wish to offend anyone who wasn't able to have kids (or the stars just didn't align for them to have kids). You can have a meaningful and happy life (I presume) without having kids, but for me, I know that that's not the case. I lived that life; being a person approaching middle age, and not having any kids and having an awesome career and traveling...but it just wasn't fulfilling for me. So, I don't regret having the kids cause I had the privilege of knowing what the alternative would be. And life feeling like an empty void and feeling like I'm missing out on having children was much worse than the situation I am in now (where I do get to have kids).

Yes it's difficult and yes it's nearly 24 hours a day difficulty. But again I don't regret it. We're now entering a season of life where my kids are a little bit older and they're able to help take care of themselves, and they'll even go get me a towel when I forget to bring one to the shower. They can go get me an object that I forgot in another room. The older can go check on the younger for me and do basic tasks, like turn off the hose.

For those of you out there lamenting about how hard it is to be a parent and hating it, potentially regretting it, know that it does get easier. And know that you are not missing out on life because you have children, as much as you'd be missing out on life if you had no children. Because again, all of those cool things that you might pursue if you didn't have children would eventually feel meaningless as you approach your 30s and 40s and onward. I know because I lived that. And I'm so grateful that I was able to have kids.

It's a luxury that not everybody gets...well, maybe not a luxury… More like a privilege. And there's a big difference between hating to be a parent, which is very understandable versus regretting to have your kids. Regretting is also understandable if you don't have the perspective that I have. However, I think that the regret portion and the lamenting and dwelling on that regret would make it 10 times harder, if not impossible to get through the rough stages of parenting. And it's almost a guarantee that your kids will suffer. If you regret having them, that's going to come out in what you say, and what you do and your body language and your vibes towards them . So I hope that I have inspired you to no longer regret having your kids and have given you some camaraderie and fellowship so that you know you're not alone! Yes, it is hard to have kids and it's OK to hate it sometimes. Difficult seasons will pass and you will be rewarded sooner than you think :-)